What's It All About, Alfie?

In the movie Alfie (1966), starring Michael Caine, Alfie says, "In every doomed relationship, there comes what I like to call 'The uh-oh moment.' When a certain little something happens, and you know you've just witnessed the beginning of the end. And suddenly you stop and you think, 'Uh-oh, iceberg ahead.' "

Yesterday I had my interview for another AVID position. It seemed to go well, just like the last time, and the AP told me she would be making a decision by mid-next week. I felt very comfortable with the school and with her. I also met the AVID teacher I would be helping out. He seemed like a dynamic guy, a fun to work with sort. Then again, it was like deja vu from the last AVID interview.

When I was finished with the interview at about 11 a.m., I went to the next county over to my son's middle school to help out in the Media Center. The Specialist has given me a little project to work on. I am compiling resources and references on Georgia authors for an 8th grade language arts unit. I ran back home at 2:45 so I could be at the house when my daughter got off the elementary school bus at 3 p.m., and I printed out a hard copy of my application for the AP (assistant principal) who interviewed me for the AVID position. The AP didn't have one printed out when I got to the school in the morning, and it was "my bad" that I didn't take one with me to the interview. Even though the AP said she would have one of the admins print out a copy of my information, I took the copy I printed over to the school—along with a thank-you note—to give to the AP.

It was a good thing that I went ahead and printed the application out because the AVID position for that particular school did not show as open position when I went into the HR dbase. I asked the admin about it, and she said they had previously hired someone for the job but "it didn't work out." So, because the position had been removed with the first hire, so did the evidence of my applying for the position. I suppose it was a good thing I decided to run back over there in the afternoon for two reasons: (1) to find out that I was going to have to reapply for the position in the HR system, and (2) it was a convenient way to hand off a thank-you note to the AP, even though the admin had printed a copy of my information already. The admin said that she was going to ask HR to repost the position and for me to reapply for it. I checked earlier today, and the position is reposted, so I applied for it again. I should probably send a follow-up email to both ladies to thank them and let them know that I have taken care of the reapplication.

All this effort and angina over a $10 an hour job.

There is a teacher job fair next week, for whatever that's worth, and I guess I will go to it. I don't really know how many jobs will be available because the hits just keep on comin'. The state has to cut an additional 3% from the education budget this year, and the general joblessness increased again in December by another 85,000 jobs in Georgia. To add insult to injury, I've been reading other teacher blogs, and all I generally read about is the hell that exists inside school classrooms. So, when I look at all the hard work I have put into getting my certification, and the hard work I'm doing now just to find some measely way into the school system, it is somewhat disheartening to read about all the hard work that's years yet to come—and with no thanks or decent salary to boot! It makes me wonder if I'm doomed from the beginning. I certainly hope I'm not floating along on the HMS Titantic only to discover some "Uh-oh" moment—"Iceberg ahead!"

"Never hesitate." It's a rule one of my driver's ed instructors told me. Once you press the gas to go, it's usually best to make the commitment to MOVE because stopping midstream is usually what causes the big crash. My anxiety of late has allowed doubts and doom to form into the inevitable twinge, "Have I done the right thing?" However, to borrow another line from Alfie, "It seems to me the problems you worry yourself sick about never seem to materialize. It's the ones that catch you unexpectedly on a Wednesday afternoon that knock you sideways." So, I suppose that means . . . I should just keep pressing the gas, but watch out for icebergs, too?

Sure. That's what it's all about, Alfie. Makes perfect sense.